


Dogs and Bats

by AliceWasNotDreaming



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-11 23:12:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15326490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceWasNotDreaming/pseuds/AliceWasNotDreaming
Summary: Severus did not enjoy Sirius' pranks.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a Friday evening in April. The corridors of Hogwarts Castle were bustling with activity as students rushed to and fro, relieved that the week's lessons were over and hurrying cheerfully to the Great Hall for dinner.

Sirius Black and James Potter, stepping out of the Ancient Runes classroom, joined the crowd with no less eagerness. Grinning sideways at his best friend, James shouted to be heard above the noise, 'Pretty awful test, huh? Think old Toddison wants to scare us into revising for the NEWTs?'

Sirius smirked back. 'Don't tell me you had difficulty with that little test, Prongs?' he called teasingly. 

James laughed. 'Aced it,' he replied. 

A girl from Slytherin, having overheard James' boast, shot them both a nasty look and shoved past them with a heavy scowl on her face, a few great tomes clutched tightly in her hands.

James snickered under his breath, unsympathetic. 'Poor little Crabbe,' he muttered to Sirius in a mocking tone, 'Doubtless that brainless moron will get a fat D. Wanna bet on it, Padfoot?'

Sirius was about to answer when suddenly something caught his eye. Something black, oily, slimy...

A wicked smirk made its way on his face.

'Padfoot?' he heard James ask, sounding slightly concerned. 

'Snivellus,' he cooed in reply.

James shifted uncomfortably. 'Um, look here, Sirius,' he said uneasily, 'I'm not sure we should do doing this.'

Sirius scoffed. 'Oh, right. Evans.'

James shrugged, looking apologetic. 'I don't know why she won't let us prank him either. I mean, after the falling out they had last year, I would have thought she would finally see what a slimy git Snivellus truly is.' He sighed ruefully, glaring at Snape, who was walking with his head bowed a few paces ahead of them. 'But as it is, the snake's under her protection.'

'Well,' Sirius said decisively, 'you are dating her. I am not.'

James bit his lip in thought. 'Oh, well, I suppose I could tell Lily I had nothing to do with it,' he finally said with a sly grin. 'But you'd have to be the one to do it, man.'

'I'd be delighted,' Sirius purred. They shot each other predatory smiles as they stalked forwards in unison, pushing through the crowd quietly, closing in on the oblivious Slytherin.

***

'James Potter!' 

The furious shout echoed in the Gryffindor Common Room. Everyone immediately quieted down, cowering slightly at the terrifying visage that was Lily Evans in a rage.

James Potter shrank back into his armchair by the fire. Beside him, Peter Pettigrew let out a terrified whimper, almost trembling in fright. Remus Lupin looked up from his book, alarmed, and even Sirius looked slightly uncomfortable. 

Lily did not wait for James' answer before strolling forwards and shouting again, 'Have you been pranking Severus again? How many times do I have to tell you to LEAVE HIM ALONE!'

'It wasn't me!' James protested, his voice almost echoing in the utter silence of the Common Room. 'It was Sirius! I had nothing to do with it!'

Lily rounded on Sirius with narrowed eyes. 'I suppose you think it's so funny to turn a classmate into a bat, huh? Well I am NOT amused!' She glared at Sirius angrily, her cheeks flushed. It seemed as though she was going to throttle him. 'Fifty points from Gryffindor! And detention for a week! BOTH of you!'

Sirius and James launched into protest. 'FIFTY points, Evans? FIFTY!' 'It wasn't my fault, Lily! Sirius did it!'

Lily's stare was icy. 'You should be glad it isn't fifty points for both of you,' she said coldly. 'And I know you had something to do with it, James Potter. I know that you encouraged Black. So don't you dare say another word.' With that she turned around and stormed up the staircase to the dormitory. 

James and Sirius looked around as murmurs broke out in the Common Room once more. Seeing more than a few accusing glared directed their way for the fifty points they had costed their house, James sheepishly started to pull Sirius out of the room.

Sirius sighed. 'Why do you have to choose her, of all people?' he grumbled as he stood up, heading for the entrance. 

James huffed. 'Shut up, Padfoot! You started it all! And you aren't the one who has got an angry girlfriend to manage!'

Sirius snickered pitilessly.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus was lying on a bed in the hospital wing, motionless. 

He wondered if he was suffering from shock. It was not uncommon to suffer from shock after being turned into a bat by a bullying classmate, was it?

He gritted his teeth in humiliation and anger as he recalled the incidents earlier that day - he was walking down a corridor, eager to get to the Great Hall for dinner, when suddenly he felt a spell hit him square in the back. In the blink of an eye he was a bat, flying over the heads of  students roaring in laughter round and round, terrified and bewildered and helpless. He dimly recalled the furious shouts of Professor McGonagall as she hurried towards them, pointing his wand at him - then he felt himself falling to the floor again, narrowly missing a few Ravenclaw first years, and hit the ground with a painful thump.

He had been too stunned to do more than let a harried Slughorn usher him towards the hospital wing.

Oh, Salazar... How he wished Sirius Black and James Potter hadn't been born! Someday Severus was going to pay them back.

***

'What? No!' Sirius gasped. 

Lily froze him with a stern look. 'Yes,' she said coldly. 'You will go to Severus and apologise to him. And you will offer your services to him for a week to show your sincerity.'

Sirius blanched. 'Evans, please... Don't do this to me!' Offering to do anything Snivellus wanted? Sirius wouldn't survive an hour of the torment he would doubtless be subjected to!

Lily stared at him pitilessly. 'Too late for regrets now, Black. You've done what you wanted, now pay for it.' She turned and stalked away.

Sirius was doomed...


	3. Chapter 3

Severus blinked up at Lily.

'It's alright, it's not your fault,' he sighed. 'I know you tried.'

Lily said fiercely, 'It is my fault, though! I didn't try hard enough. They think I'm joking. I ought to have made it very clear to James that if anything like that happens again I will - I will break up with him!'

Her voice wavered when she said the last bit, but her eyes remained resolute.

A year ago, Severus would have prayed fervently that Potter kept bullying him after hearing this, but now it just made him feel a wave of gratitude and affection for Lily.

'You're happy with James when you're not fighting, Lily,' he said gently. 'It really is alright. I can take care of myself. Don't ruin your relationship just for me.'

That just made tears rise in Lily's eyes. 'You're so good, Sev,' she said in a choked voice, 'and James - James isn't a bad person, but he can be so self-centred and unfeeling and - and so horrible sometimes! Oh, I'm sorry, I really am so sorry...'

Severus sighed. 'Well, I agree that he is a horrible asshole most of the time.'

Lily smiled a little. She took a deep breath and seemed to regain control of her feelings. 'Well, I did do something about this, regardless of whether you can take care of yourself. I assigned detention to both James and Sirius, and I also made Sirius offer you his services for a week to atone for his behaviour.' 

Severus blinked. 'You made Black do what?!' he gasped in incredulity. 

Lily looked pleased and proud of herself. 'He will do anything you ask of him for a week, or I will be asking Professor Dumbledore to intervene. I am not joking around, Severus. I am not going to see you bullied again.'

Severus laughed, the sort of genuinely amused and happy laugh only Lily had ever heard. 'You know I love you, right?'

Lily flushed with pleasure.


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius walked slowly towards the hospital wing.

He wondered belatedly if this was what walking into hell felt like. Every step was a torture - there was no need for a bed of knives under foot for it to be excruciating. The simple dread of what was to come was a torment in itself.

'James,' he had pleaded desperately, 'come with me!'

His traitorous friend had thrown him a pitying but firm look. 'I'm sorry, Padfoot, but you're alone in this.'

And so here he was, walking into the jaws of death itself...

'Black!' a voice barked. 'Hurry up!'

Sirius looked up. Lily Evans was standing outside the door to the hospital wing, a hand on her hip. She was frowning at him with sternly and disapprovingly, a foot tapping the floor with impatience and annoyance, Sirius was suddenly reminded of Professor McGonagall.

Merlin. That girl was a menace.

Sirius walked towards her sullenly and stopped beside her.

Lily glared at him. She instructed imperiously, 'Now, you will go in and apologize to Severus for what bullying him.' Sirius opened his mouth to protest against the severe word 'bully', but Lily ploughed on, ignoring him completely. 'And you will promise to never, ever do it again. You will also politely offer him a week of your services as repayment. If Severus or I detect any hint of insincerity -'

'I will have to apologize again. Yes, yes, your majesty,' he snapped. He was already planning on how to phrase his "apology" as insincerely as possible. He did not mind having to stay here all day, apologizing over and over again, if it meant beating Evans and Snivellus at their own game.

Lily gazed at him coldly. 'No,' she said, her voice as icy as her expression. 'You will offer Severus one extra week of your services for each scathing, "clever" remark you make.'

Sirius gaped in horror. She stared back, her face stony.

Lily opened the door. 'Get in,' she ordered.

***

Severus Snape was sitting lamguidly on a bed, reading his potions textbook. 

He had evidently expected the visit, as he did not look surprised at all to see Sirius. An ugly, triumphant sneer was on his face as he stared at Sirius. 'Black,' he greeted, his voice deceptively soft, laced with malice.

Sirius glared at him in pure loathing. 'Snivel- Snape,' he said, remembering at the last second that Lily was standing right behind them, observing the exchange. He cursed internally.

Snape laughed unpleasantly. 'So-' he drawled, evidently enjoying himself immensely, 'what brings you here?'

Sirius gritted his teeth, humiliated. 'I have come to - apologize,' he snapped out.

Snape blinked, feigning surprise. 'Oh, indeed? What for?'

Sirius resisted the urge to punch his big nose. 'For bullying you,' he bit out.

'Oh,' Snape said, still donning the mock-innocent expression. 'Why, Sirius, that is a pleasant surprise! I never thought someone as high and mighty as you would ever stoop to apologize! Why, I must inform the Slytherins immediately. Your brother Regulus will be espeially pleased to know that his brother had such a noble character!'

Sirius glared at him in rage. He clenched his fists, all too aware of Evans staring at him silently, watching his every move. He ignored Snape with difficulty. 'I will never do something like that again,' he hissed venomously.

'Really? And what will happen if you do it again?'

Sirius was shaking with anger. He looked up at Lily.

Lily said, 'I believe two weeks of offering Severus your services will suffice, Black.' Severus smirked.

Sirius took a deep breath. 'Yes, yes,' he snarled, helpless and so furious he felt he could explode any minute.

Snape smirked again. 'Is that all you have to say?'

Oh, Merlin help him. 'I would like to offer you a week of my services now, to show the - sincerity of my apology and remorse,' Sirius said tightly.

'Oh, a week, you say?' Snape asked, his eyes dancing with cold malice and mockery. 'And I can ask you to do anything? As long as it is legal and within your ability?'

'Yes,' Sirius said, all too aware he was sealing his own fate.

'Well, in that case,' the slimy git said softly, 'your week of servitude starts tomorrow, Black. I want you to arrive outside the Slytherin common room at six o'clock sharp and stand there and wait for my orders. Do you understand?'

Sirius was heaving now, his face red with anger. 'Yes, I understand perfectly,' he growled.

Snape smirked and leant back. 'In that case, if you have nothing more to say -' He looked at Evans.

She nodded. 'You may leave, Black. And I will ask a house elf to tell me if you are late or not, so be punctual tomorrow morning.' She dismissed him with a wave.

Sirius walked out of the hospital wing as fast as he could. He all but raced back to the common room and locked himself into the thankfully empty dormitory.

As he sat down heavily on the bed, his anger dissipated, humiliation and terror replacing it.

He was so, so doomed...


	5. Chapter 5

'Six?!' James gaped in horror. 'That is, like, before the sun rises!'

Sirius scowled moodily. 'You don't say!'

They were in the Great Hall. After casting a muffliato around themselves, Sirius had quietly and sullenly recounted what had happened in the Hospital Wing to his best friend.

James shook his head, gazing at his friend in sympathy. 'I'll understand if you murder Snape one of these days, Padfoot,' he said seriously. 'And I'll give you my blessing if you make his death painful and messy.'

Sirius grimaced. He was in a foul mood - and who wouldn't be, after receiving a worse-than-death sentence? He would gladly murder Snape if he could get away with it, but Evans would probably find an even more horrible punishment for him when she found out...

***

Sirius glared at the stone wall in front of him.

He knew the entrance to the Slytherin common room was somewhere here, but he couldn't find it. His half-hearted idea of sneaking inside to lay a few booby traps for Snivellus and his slimy housemates was quickly banished. 

The great Sirius Black, one of the founders of the Marauder's Map, reduced to huddling under his clock for warmth at six o'clock outside the Slytherin common room, waiting to serve a Slytherin git... He sighed miserably.

And the Slytherin didn't even have the courtesy of being punctual!

As six fifteen came and went, Sirius began to suspect he was being played deliberately. 

At half past six he knew he was being played deliberately.

Students began streaming out of the common room at half past seven. Most lower form students settled with glaring at him with suspicion and hostility, but the students in his year were not so lenient.

'What the hell are you doing here, Black?' Evan Rosier snapped at him, fingering his wand warily as he stalked towards Sirius.

Sirius sneered, undaunted. Like he was afraid of Rosier! He had seen Rosier cast spells during Defence classes, if those pathetic attempts could be called spell casting. He could beat Rosier in a duel with his hands tied. 'I don't see why it's a concern of yours,' he drawled, leaning back against the wall casually just to spite Rosier. 'This is a Hogwarts corridor, and I am a Hogwarts student. Why shouldn't I be here?'

Rosier glowered. 'Um, because this is the entrance to the Slytherin common room?' he snapped, attempting sarcasm. Pathetic, Sirius thought with disdain.

He laughed softly. 'Ohh, is ickle little Rosier afraid I'll sneak into his room and set his panties on fire?' he mocked.

Rosier's face went red. His eyes flashed and he raised his wand, but Sirius was one step ahead. He pointed his own wand at the shorter Slytherin's nose with relish, about to curse him.

'Oh, Evan, haven't you heard?' a woman's cold voice drawled, interrupting him. 'Black has been given detention. He is here as Severus' servant.'

It was Sirius' turn to flush red. 'Shut up, Narcissa,' he snarled at the blonde witch, who was standing behind Rosier with a gang of her friends. They were all smirking at him. By then every Slytherin in the corridor was stopping to watch the scene unfold, and snickers began to break out all aound them as they heard Narcissa announce Sirius' predicament. Which, Sirius realized too late, was part of Snape's plan.

The manipulative bastard. Sirius was going to murder him, Lily or no Lily.

Rosier no longer looked angry. In fact, he looked as if Christmas had come early. 'Oh, dear,' he laughed nastily, his eyes gleaming. He didn't seem bothered by the wand in his face anymore. 'That's why he's waiting here like a house elf? Aww, poor little Black.' He gave Sirius a mock pitying pout. Jeering laughter was echoing everywhere in the corridor now. 

Humiliation and fury spread through the Gryffindor. Without thinking he shot a random spell at the Slytherin, but it was blocked with ease by Narcissa. The laughter died, replaced by cries of outrage. Rosier's eyes narrowed into slits. He took a step backwards. Sirius sneered when he saw dozens of wands being drawn around him, already trying to formulate a plan. He had faced more than a bunch of idiotic Slytherins before. If they thought he would go down easily they were sadly mistaken. 

Just when things were about to get ugly, Snape stepped out of his common room. His black eyes took in the scene silently, but he did not seem fazed. On the contrary, a malicious smirk was forming on his face. Their gazes met, and Snape's smile became even more gloating. It seemed that everything was going as Snape planned.

'Well,' the slimy git said silkily, stepping forwards. The crowd parted for him, falling silent. 'Let's not grudge poor Black his little tantrum. He is understandably distressed. You're not used to being a servant, are you, Black?' Snape gave him a sickly sweet smile. Narcissa laughed coldly.

Sirius gritted his teeth but said nothing. 

'Come along, servant,' Snape said to him with another smirk. He turned and strode towards the Great Hall, his robes billowing around him.

Sirius followed him reluctantly, staring daggers at his back, all too aware of the derisive laughter breaking out around him once more.

Oh, Merlin, he loathed the lot of them.


End file.
